SYNOPSIS

linuxwonderboy [ -sicCfgGOaKPM ] [ tech | emot ] [ 1-9 ] [ -d device ]

linuxwonderboy is a carbon based Linux systems administrator and general computer enthusiast. The device can be any one of the following:


• /dev/computer [default]
• /dev/network
• /dev/new_idea
• /dev/roommate
• /dev/cute_redhead
• /dev/glass

For best results, you should never attempt to use linuxwonderboy without ensuring that the minimum system requirements of caffeine and nicotine are met by your runtime environment. Loud, upbeat house techno helps immensely, as well.

linuxwonderboy commands can be entered by pressing the desired key (pressing Enter after the command is not necessary). Here is a list of the available commands:

s

Request support from linuxwonderboy. This can be in the form of technical or emotional support; this version does not support simultaneous support methods.

i

Integrate new hardware or software into existing configuration.

c

Request linuxwonderboy to configure a specific piece of hardware or software; commonly used with the -i command.

C

Instructs linuxwonderboy to confuse or assist in the confusion of a particular individual.

f

Tells linuxwonderboy that subprocesses may engage in flirting with another individual or the user. Typically used with the device, /dev/cute_redhead.

g

Pulls down a pint of Guinness for linuxwonderboy's enjoyment. Customarily used with /dev/glass.

G

Initiate recreational simulation. Used with /dev/xbox360, /dev/2060, /dev/Battlefield2, /dev/CounterStrikeSource, /dev/spades, /dev/paintball, etc.


O

Otaku. This command is depricated, and can safely be subsituted with -a.

a

Allows linuxwonderboy to view anime, something for which the program seems well suited for.

K

Instructs linuxwonderboy to attend and work A-Kon. Warning:linuxwonderboy will perform batch jobs at A-Kon until disk and CPU utilization reach 100%. This command is depricated and is no longer in use.

P

Runs linuxwonderboy in "plumbing mode", allowing the software to adapt recently added subroutines to the task of configuring and installing new plumbing installations in residential and commercial homes and buildings. The software has recieved certification to perform this task.

M

Starts linuxwonderboy in "mechanic mode". The software will attempt to repair any mechanical system. If the software is not pre-loaded with the specifications needed to perform the task, advanced learning agorithms enable the software to "learn" and adapt to the situation. Repeated attempts may be necessary when using linuxwonderboy to perform repair tasks that it does not have datasets for.

OPTIONS

tech | emot

Specifies whether the user wants linuxwonderboy to provide technical or emotional support in this instance.

1-9

Specifies the level of interest the flirting user would like linuxwonderboy to respond with. Warning: Level 9 flirting often has unexpected results.

0: No errors; 1: Invocation error; 2: I/O error; 3: cannot get coffee; 4: nicotine delivery system failure.

SEE ALSO

- projects; photos; recipes; resume; links; -

ARCHITECTURE

Linuxwonderboy has been known to run on x86 systems running any variant of Microsoft Windows (including Windows 7), many various distos of Linux (of course), and MacOS X. It has also been seen on VAX and Alpha platforms running VMS and on the SGI Indy running Debian Linux.

BUGS

The current version occasionally suffers data corruption in some instances, particularly when used in a script and with insufficient sleep().

AUTHOR

Michael M. Garland, III (yert @ linuxwonderboy.net)